What to Do If... You Don't Remember (or Fully Understand) the Rules

Imagine that it's game night at your home. You've invited four of your best game buddies to join you in learning a somewhat complicated game like Power Grid. All of your buddies have some experience with board games and even own some of their own, so you anticipate a not-so-steep learning curve. With this in mind, you spent a little time reading the rules, skimming sections because you have to commit time to actually cleaning your living room and bathroom (personal note: please clean your bathrooms before game day; your guests will quietly thank you for it).

Anyway, your guests arrive. Wisely, you already had the board and components laid out on the table and the rules ready for easy reference. After a few appetizers and drinks, you invite your friends to sit as you explain the rules. At first, people are comprehending and nodding their understanding. Yet, partway through the explanation, you stumble. What was that rule about cycling in new power plants? Is it last-to-first place turn order during bidding or during the connection of cities? As you feverishly rifle through the rulebook, you lose your place and your guests' collective attentions begin to wander. You spend five minutes reading through each phase of the game until you think you have a firm grasp of the game flow, which prompts you to restart your explanation... until you realize that you didn't quite understand the flow after all. After that, it's all sweaty palms, reading, and your guests turning on the TV to watch reruns of Last Man Standing...

This scenario is not a strange one. I would wager that almost all of you have experienced this when teaching a game you own. Getting stuck on misunderstood or forgotten rules, befuddling yourself on why certain game events happen, and even forgetting basic setup are not uncommon during the teaching of games. However, in this article, I want to focus on an aspect of rules that has needlessly stymied many a game session: not knowing certain rules OR forgetting rules. Here are a few tips and tricks I have for what to do if you don't remember (or understand) rules. These tips are not in any particular order:

Read the Rules Well Before Game Day
The obvious solution for not remembering rules is to read the rules long before you have your game day. I would suggest both reading the rules and playing a mock game on your own to acquaint yourself with the machinery of the game itself. For note-taking, you may want to print a separate copy of the rules that you can highlight and notate. Of course, if you don't mind marking up your rulebook, feel free to do so.

Read Forums and User Comments
Board Game Geek is a great online resource for acquiring more information about rules and frequently-asked questions. Read the comments pertaining to the game in question; I would even recommend bookmarking the URL for that game and having that handy before the event you are hosting, but a better solution would be to compile handy knowledge in a Word document or Excel spreadsheet.

Now, if you didn't do your homework and study the rules, then here are the tips for you:

Wing It (and Tell People You're Winging It)
When teaching a game, the worst thing, besides not knowing a rule, is taking an inordinate amount of time reading the rules while your friends languish in their semi-comfortable dining room chairs. I recommend skimming the rules, and then informing your guests that you are just going to start the game and proceed with your tenuous grasp of the rules. Tell your friends that you may make mistakes during the course of play, but you will adhere to the rules as you understood them at the start. Then, after the game is over, let people know what your mistakes were and how the game should be played. This sounds sloppy, but playing a game incorrectly and having fun is more important than getting mired in rules reading for an hour before you start the game.

Ignore Certain Rules
It is perfectly acceptable to excise rules from the game for the sake of starting the game and enjoying each other's company. For instance, some people play Carcassonne for the first time WITHOUT farmer scoring. Sure, this takes away a key part of the scoring process, but at least you introduce your friends to the concept of tile-laying and feature scoring. If you finish fast enough (note: Carcassonne games can take only 75 minutes if you play with the base set), then you can incorporate that rule you ignored.

Set House Rules
A variation of winging it is telling people that you are going to run a game with a certain interpretation in mind, which is basically setting house rules. For the sake of learning and starting a game, there is nothing wrong with this as long as people are made aware of it. Yet, if you set house rules on the fly while someone decides to read the rules during gameplay, he may feel cheated if he discovers that the rules state something different from your house rule.

In general, if you don't understand a rule in the moment, especially if you're reading and teaching at the same time, tell everything that you are going to proceed with a certain approach and ask for their consent. Be flexible, though: some people may disagree with your house rule, which is actually a great thing because they are now engaged in the learning process and may help you better execute that particular stipulation.

Play a Few Practice Turns and Reset
If you have several hours scheduled, you could play two or three demo rounds of a game for people to get a feel for the game while you work out your comprehension of the game. After you've identified pain points in the rules and negotiated with others to lay out how the game should be played, take a break, reset the board, and play the "real" session.

Learn Together
If you have a patient group of close friends, you may want to entreat them to read the rules with you and learn the game together. To do this, I recommend sending the rules to each of them by email or even message service, and then going through the rules in unison. With the right group, this learning session becomes a hangout in and of itself, especially for really involved and complex games. Some people relish these opportunities: if you identify these folks, hold on to their friendship with both hands!

(For Experts Only) Make Up the Rules!
Now, there comes a time when, despite your improvisational abilities, you cannot make out enough of the game's rules in the moment to develop a working understanding of the game that you can even communicate to your friends. It happens; you are not alone in these moments of confusion. Considering this, based on your experience with games, make up the rules!

An example of this was the first time I played Robinson Crusoe. In retrospect, Robinson Crusoe is not that complicated, but the rules are not the most clearly-written rules and do leave new players to a boatload of reading during gameplay, so I remember having to make up a rule about the in-game items that you can construct in which each item, unless explicitly stated, could be used over and over. For some reason, I was confused about whether items were used one time or able to be used repeatedly, so I just made up a rule. Indeed, you may end up perpetuating incorrect play, but remember: your goal is to guide your friends through a game by playing it and having fun. Do not get mired in reading and waiting.

Before I proceed, I should note that you must let people know that you are making up the rules because you do not want to perpetuate incorrect play. Doing so is like spreading a disease: you not only affect your friends, but they affect their friends. Even worse, once your friends discover your malfeasance, they will NOT trust you to teach another board game, so give your friends fair warning. Funnily enough, some of your friends may object to your making up rules and help you out by reading the rules for themselves.

When All Else Fails... Fall Back!
If you are not an expert on ad hoc rule generation or with tap-dancing through a rules explanation, you may want to declare that you need more time to learn the game and move on to a game that most of your friends know. Sure, you may have a friend or two that would be disappointed in not learning the new game, but sometimes simply playing any game is the best course of action.

Thanks to my direct influence, my two teenage sons own and play board games. My older son, who is 15, is less interested in board games than at least seven other interests, but he does play games to get out of doing homework and as a general diversion. As it does happen, he has moved beyond board games as a personal preference. Not so conversely, my younger son, who is 13, still likes receiving games as gifts and will opt on his own to play them with little prompting. I mention both of my sons because, despite their being at different points of what I call the "board game interest lifecycle," they have one thing in common: they both dislike teaching people board games because there is a lot of pressure to know and understand (almost) every rule. Thankfully, though, with the tips and experience I've shared, you can spend less time stressing out about rules explanations and more time enjoying your friends' company and, oh yes, playing the game you wanted to play. Your friends might even appreciate the game enough to read the rules, yell at you for the mistakes you made, and then demand that the game be played correctly next week. To me, in this case, everyone wins!

What to Do If... No One Wants to Play Your Game

Imagine this scenario: last week, a new game was released at your local game store. You had been excited to acquire it since seven months ago when the first press release announced its impending arrival. With great anticipation, you sped to the game store on the day of release and gobbled up the first copy (as well as all of the necessary card sleeves and containers for tokens, if you are anything like me). You spent a few hours sleeving cards, punching boards, and sorting the contents, relishing each component and piece of superlative artwork. You even found a place of great esteem on your game shelf for your new acquisition.

As you placed your shiny new box in its designated spot, your mind began racing. Who would I invite to play this game for the first time? Who would be available? Who would not be interested? Hurriedly, you bursted forth from your bedroom with notepad in hand, feverishly jotting down names. With your short list of would-be enthusiasts, you flung open your laptop computer, toggled to your email client software, and clicked New to create an email. You added the names, typed the message with urgent intensity, and clicked Send. Your email shot forth like a cannon blast. Then, you waited. And waited. And waited.

"Sorry, I can't play. I have to wash my dog."

"That game? No thanks. Why not play Power Grid?"

"That game looks way too complicated."

"My wife wants me to spend time with her."

"Ugh. I just bought a new game, too. Do you want to play that one?"

Obviously, the enthusiasm for your new game is decidedly low. You are despondent. You begin pondering your life goals. You resort to prayer. Things do not look good... What do you do? Well, there are solutions, some of which you may have already devised, but some might have escaped your attention.

Bring Your New Game to a Larger Gathering
From time to time, your friends might host a large gathering during which games can be played. Use that time to introduce yourself (if there are people who are strangers to you) and your game. Strangers are often the best people to whom you can introduce a game because they have no preconceived notions about you or what you brought.

Entice Your Friends with Food
The fastest way to a gamer's heart is through his stomach. Set up an invitation to play your particular game, and then advertise that you are providing pizza, burritos, or whatever your friends enjoy. This establishes a quid pro quo situation in which you are giving something (food) and getting something (opponents for your game) in return.

Enlist Your Captive Audience... er, Family
A great way to get your new game to the table is to make your family play it. Spouses are difficult to convince, but your children (or nieces and nephews) are impressionable, pliable, and usually more amenable to playing a new game than anyone else. Take to time to know the rules of your new game and practice teaching it to yourself so that you can prepare for training your children and young relatives.

Ultimatums!
A not-so-subtle variation of the quid pro quo arrangement is the ultimatum: "If you don't play my new game, I won't play yours next time!" Now, this kind of forceful declaration must be done with great care and humor, and can even be off-putting for your more thick-skinned friends, but a kind reminder that you are agreeing to play someone else's new game may compel your comrades to partake in your game. However, if they do not agree to play your new game despite your efforts to play theirs, then you may have to consider other options: patience, non-attendance to future sessions, or finding a new game group.

Find a New Group
As I mentioned in previous posts, they may come a time when you need to find a new game group. Of course, leaving your current group forever simply because they would not play your game is extreme and childish ("Fine! I'll take my ball home and you guys can't play with it!"), but their refusal to play your new game may be symptomatic of deeper issues. Perhaps someone in your group has an issue with you and his grudge has affected the group; maybe your group has collectively soured to each other's company. Instead of ditching your old group entirely, find another group at the local game store, at work, or at your church who would be open to meeting. It is fine to be a member of multiple groups, and looking for a fresh group of people with open minds has the ancillary benefit of creating chances to play your recent acquisition.

Be Patient and Plant Seeds
This may not seem like a solution because patience changes nothing in the moment, and it is the most difficult thing to do, but waiting for the opportunity and planting seeds of interest in your friends' minds is often the best approach. Some gamers like familiarity with a game, so they prefer playing a known game and not having to dive into rules explanations, which is why presenting a new game can be a daunting endeavor. For these folks, instead of the brute force tactic of forcing a game on your group, drop hints about it during your next play session. Spend a few weeks reading the rules and shoehorning comments about it every time you meet people in your group. Point out reviews on Board Game Geek or other sites. Talk about how the game's mechanics are like other popular games, but the theme of your game makes those mechanics feel fresh. The process may take a few weeks, but keep trying and, eventually, your gaming group will relent... even if it is to silence you at last.

Find Solo Rules Variants for Your Game
One of the many wonderful aspects of sites like Board Game Geek is the pooling of ideas that people have formulated on their own, especially solo variants for games. Though some games have rules for playing alone in the core rules (such as Robinson Crusoe, First Martians, Le Havre, and Agricola), most games do not benefit from this extra development on the part of the game designer. However, there are folks out there that have taken the time to devise a kind of artificial intelligence for your game so that tasks are essentially automated as if you are playing against a computer. Solo play does require much work on your part to move pieces, draw cards, and follow what can be complex algorithms simulating other players, but playing solo may be preferable to never playing your new game or doing what I am about to suggest...

Sell (or Store) the Game
The last resort is to either store the game and consider it a collectible, or sell the game on eBay or to other gamers. There is no point in keeping a game no one will play (unless you are content with collecting games), so consider selling it to buy expansions for games that your friends play. To avoid this altogether, though, even before buying a game, think about whether or not your friends and/or family will play it.

Before you attempt any of these solutions, there are a few requirements that you must satisfy:

• Learn Your Game
  Read the rules again and again before even attempting to introduce it.
• Practice Teaching the Game
  Brainstorm ideas of how you would teach the game and organize those ideas into a chronological outline. Use your outline to practice teaching the game, perhaps to a family member or just to yourself.
• Organize Your Components
  Have every component of the game organized so that they are easily accessed without wasting valuable game time hunting for them.
• Anticipate Player Counts and Set Aside the Requisite Components
  Some games' setups stipulate how much of any items you need for certain player counts. Instead of counting out tokens and cards at the start of the gaming session, use plastic bags to separate the required items beforehand so that setup is accelerated.
• Know the Comparable Games
  One thing that assuages fears of learning a new game is drawing parallels to existing games with similar mechanics. This further requires knowing your gaming group, but sticking with popular games helps. Here is one example: "My new game has a set collection mechanic, much like the way you collect cards in Ticket to Ride." Also, mentioning that similar games can be found at Target, Barnes and Noble, or other popular retailers sends the message that your new game is not that strange or difficult to learn because games like it are readily available.

Getting your game group to play your most recent purchase can be challenging and disheartening, but with some foresight and planning, you can mitigate this circumstance trying any of the solutions I mentioned. Usually, novelty is not so alluring for people; do not be insulted if your friends refuse to play your new game at the start. Entice, convince, entreat, bribe: there are yet more options you can pursue to help your game see the light of day.

Despite my suggestions, I believe that the best approach is thinking about your friendly opponents and what they would want before you buy a game. For me, I often think about my wife and sons: would they play the game I'm thinking of buying? A few years ago, my sons had the time and desire to play pretty much anything I bought, but now they are teenagers and their tastes have changed. My wife is much more selective, so I try to pick some games she would not mind playing. Also, because I no longer have to kind of gaming group I had at my previous job, I have to think about my old games and how often I can get them to the table; when I do think about that, I am often convinced to not buy a new game.

Furthermore, I encourage you to think about your current inventory of games and ponder how often you would like to play your existing games. The board gaming hobby is heavily steeped in a "cult of the new" mentality in which gamers are often excited to purchase the hottest novelties. This may be you, and if you have the money to engage in this, then I am happy for you. Yet, if you really enjoy your old games and would like to play them more often, reconsider that purchase you want to make. In this way, perhaps the best solution for what to do if no one will play your new game is to not buy that new game... Or, if you have already bought it, take it back to the store and buy some pizzas to tempt your friends and family to go to your house and play games with which they are already familiar.

What to Do If... Board Games Have Become Less Fun

Like most hobbies, table gaming (i.e. board and/or card games) is subject to the ebbs and flows of life. A table gamer may experience weeks, months, or even years of high-peak interest in his hobby, seeking consistent game sessions and new and exciting games to open, sort, and explore. Conversely, a table gamer may be overwhelmed with life changes, such as switching jobs, marriage, having children, moving to a new neighborhood, checking out an unfamiliar church, and so on. What is difficult to understand, though, is when one's interest in a hobby seems to wane for no significant reason. Though I would contend that there is always a reason, the underlying causes may be almost impossible to identify.

Nonetheless, there are ways to handle periods of your life during which, for one or many reasons, board games are just not as fun as they used to be or are not that fun at all. Some of these methods are painfully obvious, yet some of them may be unfamiliar to you.

Take a Well-Defined Break from Gaming

The simplest method for dealing with this malaise is to stop gaming for a while, though I would not recommend taking an open-ended break. I suggest taking a clearly delineated break by defining the start and end of the break. Call it a "fast" from gaming. The fast could be for 10 days, 20 days, one month, or even a few months. By defining the parameters of the break, you establish that mental barrier for which to aim. By fasting from gaming, you may regenerate that keen interest in the hobby, yet develop a healthier perspective of it. After all, gaming is a relatively minor hobby and should not override more important concerns, such as one's faith, or even family, job, and friends.

Explore Other Hobbies

Another obvious solution is to engage in other activities. I would suggest physical activities, like hiking or sports, to disconnect from the cerebral pursuits of gaming and exercise other areas of your brain.

Return to a Beloved Game from Your Past

One way to revitalize your interest in table gaming is to revisit a game from your past. These kinds of games I call recharger games. For example, I used to really enjoy playing Carcassonne with a few expansions, especially Inns and Cathedrals. By returning to a game from your past, you may rediscover those game-youthful feelings you may have left behind and forgotten. If you have been tempted to sell that old game, do not sell it; keep it as a reminder of your "younger" gaming days. If you sold that old game, I recommend buying it again and keeping it ready. Remember: just because you have "evolved" as a gamer does not mean you cannot enjoy those past gateway games that got you involved in the first place.

One more thing to mention: even opening up an old game and thumbing through its components may be enough to enjoy gaming again. Sometimes, I like to crack open Core Worlds just to look at the card art and read through the potential combos. That game is definitely one of my go-to recharger games.

Reconnect with an Old Game Buddy

Another way to rekindle your hobby fire is to call upon a game friend from the past. Be sure to call someone with whom you really enjoyed playing games. However, consider the possibility that the old gaming buddy has either moved on from gaming or has "evolved" into other games. Recapturing that wistful feeling of positive nostalgia may be only one-sided; factor that into the reconnection and you will frame the reunion with balanced expectations.

Buy (or Make) an Expansion

Occasionally, all you need is to shake up an old game with a novel expansion to renew your gaming spirit. However, I would extend this to a riskier idea: creating a home-brewed expansion. When I am a bit bored, I like to think about ways to tweak the existing rules by synthesizing new cards, game boards, and tokens. Playtesting these ideas can energize a gaming veteran by making her analyze the rules to find loopholes and advantageous combos that can be exacerbated or mitigated by a homemade expansion.

As an added bonus, there are a few methods that I would NOT recommend because these can be counterproductive:

DON'T Sell the Old Games...Yet

Selling old games does not solve the problem of loss of interest... unless the issue is not that. You may be selling games because you are absolutely no longer interested in table gaming OR you have elevated table games to an unhealthy level of interest such that you value them over truly significant parts of your life. Of course, if you are just in a lull, hold onto your old games until you are certain of your course of action.

DON'T Buy a New Game

Sure, it's exciting to buy new games, sort components, sleeve cards, and organize contents for a night-long session of gameplay, but I have found that this does not alleviate waning interest on a long-term basis; instead, it staves off the malaise for a short time. It also establishes a "cult of the new" pattern of thinking. In other words, you are only able to ward off boredom by buying new games. This is an expensive route with diminishing returns. As I have heard in so many movies, if you are not enough with the games you have, how can you be enough with a new game?

DON'T Seek New Game Friends with an Expectation of Renewing Interest

It may seem like an excellent strategy to try out a new gaming group, but the worst aspect of this method is that you may become further disillusioned trying to renew gaming interest with people you barely know or may not even like. This could backfire spectacularly because new players are an unknown quantity. For instance, if you are a competitive person who enjoys engaging in table talk (i.e. light trash-talking), but you join a group who shies away from such banter, you may end up further discouraged.

DON'T Play Your Way Through the Doldrums

Much like a lot of athletes, trying to play your way through a slump can worsen your negative sentiments because you start feeling like you are in a pit you cannot escape. However, this is not always true; sometimes, an unexpectedly exhilarating session of play may recharge you.

In general, when suffering through a downswing in gaming, I advise avoiding new situations, games, and opponents, and return to past games, opponents, and groups with whom you relished playing. Of course, this approach may not work for you; perhaps, something novel may energize you. New friendships can also inspire you to continue.

I should mention, though, that there is the danger of table gaming becoming that idol that one comes to worship, as if the hobby becomes so integral to one’s daily routine and thoughts that all other aspects of one’s life become secondary. Christians think in terms of “idols,” and I believe that this approach is a useful way to reassess what table gaming means to you. In fact, Philippians 4:19 offers intriguing insight in which Paul wrote of idolaters: their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. Does gaming dominate your thoughts and free time? Does most of your discretionary funds go towards it? If so, I strongly recommend taking a long break from table gaming and focusing on pursuing God. Such a pursuit realigns our perspectives, which, ironically, can enhance our enjoyment of any hobby. As is often overstated, table gaming can become “too much of a good thing.” In that sense, the best way to reignite gaming interest is to realign your priorities.