What to Do If... You Don't Want to Play Gateway Games (But You're Playing with Casuals)

As a board game enthusiast, it can be challenging to play with people who aren't enthusiasts. Such folks are often called "casual players" or just "casuals." It's a term that is somewhat pervasive in American vernacular when discussing people who only engage in an activity occasionally. This is especially the case with board games because most people do not pursue this hobby with the kind of passion to drive them to play regularly. However, for the board game enthusiast, herein lies the rub: more often than not, you get a hankering to play a board game (particularly a somewhat complicated one), but the only people that are readily available are casuals, whether they're co-workers, friends, or family members, so you assume the challenge of teaching casuals how to play a reasonably difficult game. Of course, many of us know how this ends: lots of blank expressions, yawns, head scratches, and a general desire for the casuals to extricate themselves from this train-wreck game session as expeditiously as possible.

This scenario is not uncommon, and it is one I've encountered several times, but what undergirds these situations is that apparent gap of interest and understanding between the enthusiast and the casual. Thankfully, unlike with sports in which differences in ability can result in lopsided victories and un-fun to be had by all parties, board games exist at varying levels of complexity. Among board gamers, games that are somewhat strategically rich and a cut above Monopoly are called "gateway games" with simple rules, short setup, and a sense of agency that differs greatly from the likes of Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders, to be sure. Games like Ticket to Ride, Carcassonne, Pandemic, and Settlers of Catan inhabit this ideological space of gaming. Now, don't get me wrong; these games are fun and a credit to the hobby, but there are times when the board game enthusiast wants more out of the gaming session than these games, which leads me to the crux of this article.

Here are some approaches you might try if you have a group of casual players, but do not want to play gateway games:

Research and Buy a New Game
If you navigate to Board Game Geek, you can view lists of how enthusiasts rate games. One list that is relevant to the kinds of games that casuals may enjoy is the Family Games list. On that list, you will find the classic gateway games, as well as some of the newer titles. My advice with this list is to find 3-5 games that catch your fancy and read reviews about them. They may be games that are less complex than what you truly desire, but you may find some gems that both are new to you and satisfy your urge for something more than gateway games.

Besides Board Game Geek, I recommend visiting Target, Barnes & Noble (if you're in the United States), or even the local board game specialty store. At Target, browse the "Strategy Games" section; at Barnes & Noble, browse the titles and find one that is thematically and mechanically appealing; and, at your local game store, ask the counter person (or owner) about their recommendations.

If you do NOT want to buy a new game...

Make Your Shortlist
In your existing collection, rule out the gateway offerings that you may have, but also think about your experiences with each game and consider your personal assessment of their levels of difficulty. Then, cull down all of the initial candidate games to a list of five to seven games that you would really like to play.

Look at Time and Player Count
Then, without much thought, examine your list while looking at only two criteria: time to play (which is sometimes calculated as a minutes-to-player ratio) and player count. Player count is important because you have to accommodate your entire group of casual-player friends, but expected time of play for each player is not necessarily crucial as a determinant for the length of your game session as much as an indirect indication of complexity; basically, the longer the game, the more complex it might be. This isn't a foolproof method of checking complexity, but this metric does give you some idea.

Determine the Game's Complexity
The beauty of gateway games is that though they are strategically rich, they are not painfully complicated. Many of these games have simple rulesets. For example, Carcassonne's turn order is easy to grasp: draw a tile, place one of your tile's edges against a compatible edge, and then choose whether or not to place an available worker on a feature of that tile. Once you understand the scoring of each feature, especially end-game farmer scoring, the mechanics of the game aren't daunting. Of course, the richness of Carcassonne lies in the discoveries players make as they gain experience. I suggest aiming for games that harness this beauty; at the very least, choose games that have a repeatable turn order and provide a reference card or sheet to help players along the way.

Consider The Number of Interwoven Mechanics
Working from the assumption that you are a board game aficionado, you are most likely aware of the mechanics of each game that you own. Is a game a deck-builder? Is it a worker-placement game? Does it involve set collection? Are there push-your-luck elements? Inherently, each identifiable game mechanic is no more intricate than any other mechanic, but some are more pervasive among casuals; for instance, set collection is a common mechanic found in many basic card games. However, I often keep in mind how many mechanics function inter-connectedly. Take Lewis & Clark; this game involves hand management and hand-building, worker placement, resource management, and even a racing element. With all of these mechanics in motion, even experienced board gamers have some initial problems with understanding the flow. Try to choose games that minimize the number of mechanics that prevail. For help with this, look up any particular game on Board Game Geek to discover how many mechanic categories are ascribed to that game.

Check Out the Components
A simple rule of thumb I use is the fewer the number of types of components involved in a game, the less complicated it probably is. For example, a game that has tokens, ships, three decks of cards, cardboard chits, dice, a game board, AND additional game props is most likely an overwhelming experience for the casual. Yet, a game with a set of dice, player pieces, two decks of cards, and a game board may seem less threatening. There is no magic number for types of components, but I generally take mental stock of what items are included in a game to decide if a game would suit my group of casual players. Despite this, watch out for games that appear simple with few components, but have cards that serve multiple purposes (e.g., Twilight Struggle), more than four types of tokens, chits, cubes, and/or bits, asymmetrical player powers, random starting board states, or a combination of these concepts.

Ponder the Attractiveness of the Theme
Let's admit it: some things may seem boring to the casual player. Trading in the Mediterranean? It had better be a visually-stunning game. Stock market trading? It had better have a lot of yelling. Space or science fiction? Make sure your group likes sci-fi. When choosing a game, think about your casual friends and what they might like. When in doubt, stick to popular tropes (Marvel, Star Wars, Disney, Star Trek, Harry Potter, or the like) or themes that are reminiscent of themes that are currently popular.

However, I have found that certain themes can backfire. For instance, though Game of Thrones and other sword-and-sorcery shows are popular, the medieval fantasy milieu is NOT for everyone and may be a turn-off. During one session when I presented Shadows over Camelot to my group, one of my not-so-casual friends quipped that the game was TOO nerdy for him, as if his traumatic memories of Dungeons & Dragons (or any other fantasy-themed game) had infected his outlook on knights and wizards. Identifying these "backfire" themes can be difficult, so I recommend adhering to the basic approach of avoiding themes that have stigmas attached to them, such as fantasy or sci-fi. I'll admit it: though nerdiness is en vogue now, some of your non-gamer friends may have no interest in stereotypically "nerdy" genres. Consider themes that are more universally relatable, such as transportation, economics, or crime.

Head-Simulate the Session
After all of your analysis, try to put yourself in the minds of your casual-player friends. Imagine conducting the gaming session with them, taking into account the non-gamerness of each person; this is the essence of head-simulation. Would they enjoy this game? Would they spend too much time asking questions? Does the game become bogged down? By doing this, you can avoid some stolid game sessions that, consequently, convince your friends that board games are boring.

Go with Your Gut
Even if one of your shortlisted games passes the various tests I have posited, I strongly advise you to rely on your "gut reaction." Sometimes, there are intangible elements to weigh, including your own ability (or inability) to teach a particular game effectively, your own qualms against a certain game, or even your past bad experiences with that game. Your intuition (i.e. your gut) should suffice in considering these things. Ultimately, if you feel that a game just won't work for your casual friends, put it back on the shelf and move on to the next game.


The hardest thing for any board game enthusiast to do is to admit that board games are just NOT the way to go when it comes to entertainment for a particular evening. I have walked into many adult gatherings with my duffle bag of games in hand, ready to expose my friends to some truly wonderful creations, but deciding not to open my duffle after all. I try to read the room, sensing if the host would be open to me hijacking the party by declaring that I'm starting a board game. Or, if I'm the host, I might detect that "odd" desire of people to "just relax" and not want to use their brains for anything besides socializing. Sure, there are awesome social games that fit this crowd (such as Two Rooms & A Boom or One Night Werewolf), but this is an article about non-gateway games for casuals... Occasionally, the best thing to do is not to play; save the games for another day when the conditions are right.

What to Do If... Your Family Does Not Like Board Games

It is not an uncommon occurrence to have a hobby that most or all of your family does not share. In my family of four, each of us has distinct (what I would call) "main hobbies." For instance, my wife derives a lot of pleasure from hiking and camping; though my sons and I enjoy these activities in varying degrees, they are primarily her hobbies. My oldest son is highly enthusiastic about Japanese car modification and performance, which informs what he reads and mentions daily. My youngest son is greatly interested in wilderness survival and warfare, which serves him well as a Boy Scout. My hobbies... well, my hobbies are running, watching movies, and board games, which are enjoyed or tolerated by the rest of my family. The key term, I should state, is "tolerate."

Every family tolerates its members' hobbies to some extent. In my family, we tolerate, or sometimes enjoy, each other's hobbies and interests. My youngest son is the most flexible: he seems to enjoy camping, cars, AND board games. My oldest son tolerates everyone else's hobbies (which is endemic to being a teenager, I suppose). My wife is intrigued by wilderness survival (my youngest's interest) and puts up with board games from time to time. I glean some enjoyment from camping and hiking and can talk enough about cars to be mildly useful in a conversation. In any case, toleration (NOT endurance or long-suffering) is the operative term.

What happens, though, when your family does NOT like your hobby, specifically, for the purpose of this article, board games? For various reasons, one or more family members may not find any appeal in board games. Whatever the reason, there are ways to turn the situation to your favor. As with any hobby, there are methods and approaches that may change your family's minds about board games. As a thought exercise, let us explore some of those approaches...

Assess Your Family's Interests
One of the most difficult things to do is to involve anyone into one's own hobby because this often requires tweaking one's hobby to accommodate others. Find out in what each of your family members is interested. Let these hobbies drive which games you choose and purchase. This may force you to branch out beyond your own gaming tendencies, such as when one of your children or siblings is interested in fashion; you would probably never head in that direction with board games, so you may have to stretch yourself to accommodate it. Thankfully, nowadays, there are an innumerable amount of games for any theme that exists.

Enlist Competition and Theme
With board games, there are two characteristics that are universally understood enough to fold in many people: competition and theme. In this way, you can connect their interests to board games. For example, if one family member is a sports enthusiast, consider board games that are competitive or cooperative, depending on that person's disposition. You cannot generalize by assume that all sports-minded folks are competitive, so assess his or her disposition. Another example is if a family is interested in cars, like my oldest son; find a game that involves that theme. However, be careful to research the game; some games may appear to have a car "theme," but it may just be a pasted-on theme that acts as a veneer for a bunch of game systems and mechanics. In any case, theme and competition are two avenues by which you can bring in semi-apathetic people.

Be Fair with Everyone's Hobbies
Before launching full-bore into board gaming with those semi-apathetic members of your family, discuss with them your desire to balance everyone's hobbies to ensure that nobody's interests are ignored. To engender intrigue in board games, you must consider your family. This also involves stretching yourself to engage in pastimes that are not your own. In my family, every Friday is Family Night, and each week one person decides what to do on that night. In this way, everyone has a chance to expose others to their hobbies. In order to ensure that board games have some kind of place in your family, I recommend enjoying other people's hobbies, which makes everyone feel included, thus engendering a probable desire to engage in your hobby of board gaming.

Relax
For board gamers, any game is a serious pursuit. Whether it is a gateway game like Ticket to Ride or Settlers of Catan, or a thinky, involved game like Agricola or Twilight Struggle, avid board gamers are fascinated to the extent that even the finer rules and mechanics of such games attract their undivided attention. Non-gamers and casual gamers, though, are not so intense; based on what I have observed, it is the light, social aspects of games that draw them into any game. Thus, I recommend keeping any family game session light with an extreme emphasis on fun. Do not focus on the mechanics of the game, and do not be quite so strict and fastidious with the rules; simply play the game to interact with your family. Patience is also key; your family may ask numerous questions throughout the game that you would be tempted to answer by handing them the game manual to read; do NOT do this! Just relax and take time to explain the rules. If you are calm and non-intense, everyone else will associate calmness and non-intensity to games... at least until they (may) form their own strong interest in board games.

Look at Board Games as Conversation Starters
If anything, games are "social lubricants" which fill conversation gaps and slip past people's protective shells by alleviating the pressure to talk about oneself; use that element of board games by approaching rules explanations like opportunities to talk. Also, use board game time as a chance to discuss other people's hobbies. Sure, a fantasy-themed dungeon crawl may have nothing to do with camping, unless you work hard to make the connection and then discuss it. This is where you have to stretch yourself even further to not view board games as chances to compete or escape the real world, but as chances to ground yourself in the realities of your family members.

Seek Honest Assessment of the Board Games You Choose
This is the toughest requirement: ask your family which of your games they liked. Sometimes, you may be surprised that one or more of your siblings or children enjoyed Power Grid, even though it seemed long and thinky when you last played it. Sometimes, though, you may NOT be surprised that they did not enjoy that three-hour session of Lewis & Clark and how the winner had run away with the victory 30 minutes before you actually finished the game. Assessing your family's interest in your games can be a sensitive matter because, even though you really enjoy certain games in your collection, they may not like your beloved games at all! What do you do in this instance? There are two solutions: consign certain games to sessions with your gamer group only, or sell the games to acquire ones that better fit your family. The former is easier, yet you would have to live with the fact that you would play those games much less often; the latter is tough, but may serve as an opportunity to acquire newer, more streamlined games. In other words, by assessing your family's tendencies, you can craft your game collection to include them.

I am sure there are many more ideas regarding how to enfold your family into board gaming, but just as toleration is key to your family enjoying each other's hobbies, it is incumbent upon you to stretch yourself to accommodate your family. In this way, the answer to what to do if your family does not like board game is simple yet extremely arduous: you have to be self-sacrificial, which is, sadly, an odd concept where one's hobbies are concerned. It does not have to be odd, though. By giving up some of your tendencies, you include others and become a better person for it because board games become less about rules, mechanics, and theme, and more about conversation, inclusion, relaxation, and fun.

This reminds me of a great Bible verse: There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:13). With our hobbies, we should do no less -- lay down our own interests for our friends and family. That may involve playing games you would not play on your own or playing less than you would want. Yet, I believe that if you accomplish this, you elevate board games to something better than a personal hobby; it becomes something that binds the family together. I think every hobby should achieve this.

Rules Discussion: Resource Conversion

Lewis & Clark has some nifty mechanics interwoven into a fine racing game; one such mechanic is resource conversion for movement. Basically, in order to advance up river or mountain spaces, you need one or more characters that convert resources to movement, and you need characters or Native Americans to gather the resources you need. The key is to find the characters that most optimally convert resources to movement. At the start, everyone gets a mission commander, who can convert two food into two river spaces, one canoe into four river spaces, or one horse into two (?) mountain spaces. This is the bare minimal conversion rate, so you have to keep your eye out for characters who convert fewer resources into more spaces. For example, one character converts three wood into four river spaces, which cuts out the "conversion to canoe" intermediary step. Ultimately, Lewis & Clark boils down to setting up an efficient resource conversion engine.

Resource conversion is prevalent in European games. Two examples I can recall are Uwe Rosenberg games: in Le Havre, you process simple resources into things like smoked fish, steel, and coke; and in Agricola, you can convert wood, clay, or reed into food with the right occupation or major improvement. I'm not counting using resources to build final products, such as in Stone Age, in which you convert resources to huts or civilization items, or in Puerto Rico, in which you convert cargo into victory points (though it is a kind of conversion), but changing one resource into another is common to Euro games and a welcome, time-honored mechanic.

Do you have any examples of resource conversion to share?